Are You Stuck in a Habit Loop?
I am currently reading a great book by James Clear called Atomic Habits. James talks about every habit’s four patterns, which he says is a loop, and I agree. In the Habit Loop, he explains that first, a Cue triggers a Craving, which motivates a Response that provides a Reward. And both of us agree that a high percentage of our habits are based on automatic programming; we do these mindlessly, often we are unconscious that we are even doing them.
Subconscious Programming and Unconscious Habits
The subconscious or automatic programming we all have within us causes us to respond to stimuli in the same way we always have. It has become an unconscious habit. We all have them, and many of these habits control our life and our happiness. It is advantageous to become aware of them to change them, and James offers an excellent technique for this. He says if you make a list of the mindless or bad habits you want to change, you will be more aware of them. When you know them, you can make a conscientious effort to make them more invisible, less attractive, more complicated, and less satisfying.
For example, if being tied to your phone affects your relationship, and you want to be less attached, you can turn off the sound in the evening and put it in a different room. Keep notes on how you feel so you can address and eliminate this addiction. You can use tools from The BEING Zone book to erase the cravings you are feeling for getting your text message fix. When you start to feel a loss or fear of not knowing what is going on, you can use the Throw It Away Tool #14 on page 125. You reach your hand towards the part of your body where you feel this angst, visualize you are pulling out that feeling like a physical thing. You talk to it, thank it for being there, but tell it you no longer want to feel this way or have this addiction. Then wad up that feeling and throw it away. You will feel lighter and be able to focus on what you do want.
This way, you can make a conscious effort to cut that addiction and spend more quality time with your loved one. Your new habit is fun, laughter, and activities with your spouse. That option, if you are deliberate, will be attractive, fun, easy, and satisfying. Those benefits will help create behavior change. There is also a technique called pointing and calling. When you catch yourself doing something you no longer desire, catching yourself in the act and saying out loud that you don’t want that to be that way any longer is effective for improving your likelihood of achieving the change you desire.
The Power of Intentions
James shared that many studies show implementation intentions are effective in sticking to your goals. I completely agree with him. In The BEING Zone book, I talk about the importance of daily intentions. When you say you will do something specific and even set a particular time to do it, you are more likely to get it done. Intentions are the “I” Step in my 5 Daily B.E.I.N.G. Steps. You have to know where you are going to get it done. Just having the intention and saying, I will do my morning practice, or my 5 Daily B.E.I.N.G. Steps at 7 am every day will be more likely to happen.
I have found a big difference between thinking about something or planning to do something and getting something done. It is committing to it. Writing it down, saying it out loud, and then you are more likely to do it. Once you do these enough days in a row, it becomes a habit. My clients and I have found that we have good days when we commit to our 5 Daily B.E.I.N.G. steps every day and bad days when we skip them. When you have a bad day, it makes this habit of doing the daily B.E.I.N.G. steps more attractive.
What Do You Want to Change?
Take time now to write down all the things you unconsciously do in your day and to others that do not feel good, that you no longer want to do. It might be judging others, talking negatively, over-eating, drinking, living in a messy home, watching too much T.V., etc. Find the ones you want to address and make a list. Then decide what you can do to end that bad habit and create a new, healthier routine. And then add it to your daily intentions. Here are some examples to consider.
- If you are negative, set the intention to write five things you are grateful for every morning at 7 am.
- If you are judgmental and always feel bad afterward, stop and breathe every time you start to judge or criticize another. If you hesitate long enough, that you can stop yourself from saying something. Instead, stop and ask yourself, what are they doing right and compliment them instead. So set the intention; you will stop and breathe and find what they are doing right.
- If you over-eat or drink too much, set the intention to eat or drink intentionally with focus. You will make conscious decisions and slow down and be present in the moment. You may replace alcohol with mocktails that give you just as much pleasure. Or replace cookies or candy with popcorn or celery with a delicious dip. Set the intention that you will only put into your body what makes you healthier and feel good. Set a date with yourself to make that mocktail or healthy snack. Make it an event, fun and attractive, and you will want to do more of it.
- If you are living in a dirty, messy environment, that is why you may be dragging out of bed each morning feeling drained. According to Feng Shui, a messy house will drain your energy. Set the intention to clear and clean one drawer, one space each day, and before you know it, you will have a cleaner house and feel better.
- If you watch too much T.V., go back to what you loved to do as a child and build that into your evening. Set it into your intentions. It may be music, or painting, or walking, or puzzles. Spend more time doing things you love to do, and you will feel better.
I wish you all success in creating new habits but setting clear intentions as to what you do want in life!
Learn more by reading Atomic Habits and The BEING Zone!
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